Tonight I am missing my little ones that I had my heart set on adopting. I don't necessarily mean that I would have had them by now, but they have been on my heart. It's possible that the child that will one day be living in my home has already been born or is being born as I type this. When I think about these future babies I pray for their little hearts. I say "they" because more than one are on my heart.
In the past twelve months birthdays and holidays have seemed so strange to me. Almost like they've been a blur. Being pregnant twice in the past year, losing both babies (making 4 miscarriages), then applying to adopt and finding there are roadblocks and again a need to wait longer for that to unfold, then putting a deposit down for a dog only to find out the dog had two puppies and we weren't on the top of the list, it's been a lot. I have had no strength, thus causing me to rely solely on the LORD. Where I have been empty, he has made me whole.
I desire nothing but God's incredible timing in my life.
Thinking about Elizabeth in the Bible gets me excited. Excited for the unknowns that may be revealed in this lifetime or may only be revealed in heaven one day.
Luke 1:1-80. Here are some questions I have pondered:
Could Elizabeth have known all those years that she was trying to have a baby without success that God would one day (in her old age) bless her with baby John who be a joy and delight to her, that many would rejoice because of his birth, that he would be great in the sight of the Lord. That he would be filled with the Holy Spirit from birth, that he would bring many people of Israel back to the Lord their God, that he would go on before the Lord, to turn the hearts of the fathers of their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous - to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. (Luke 1:13-17).
Could Elizabeth have known that she would be 6 months pregnant when her cousin Mary (future mother of Jesus) would come to her and that her baby would leap in her womb at the sound of Mary's voice. That Elizabeth would be able to call Mary, blessed among women and that the child she would bear would be blessed (Jesus!) And that she would be able to tell Mary, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" (Luke 1:41-45) *That they could both rejoice in this together?! That the angel that came to Mary used Elizabeth as an example of how things that are said to be impossible can happen. (Luke 1:35-37).
Did Elizabeth trust, all those years of being told that she was barren, that God had a plan? Did she trust in God's perfect timing? Could she have even imagined all that God had in store for her life and for her son who would be born in God's perfect timing, in the same era as Jesus. That her son would be known as "John the Baptist." That all those years of waiting would one day = God's perfect timing in the scheme of all of humanity?
Here is a good example of a woman in the Bible who wanted something so desperately in HER timing, but in God's timing everything was made perfect. AFTER the story unfolds then we know WHY the wait!!! What an AWESOME thing to wait for!
All this to show that if there's something we're waiting for - perhaps the end result is even more AMAZING then we ever could have expected!!
This is what I remind myself of tonight. So thankful for the blessing of raising sweet Andrew and looking forward to what God has in store for the future.