What happens when your home is not truly a reflection of "you?"
The question of the evening.
I walk into my home and immediately feel at peace. Literally a breath of fresh air washes over me and I stand at the window and get to see a literal work of art, a living breathing masterpiece out my window while I do dishes.
But.. there's a work on my heart. And it has to do with my surroundings. I love to create, I love to visualize, I love design and decorating. I love to organize. And I LOVE beautiful finished and complete spaces. So what happens when yours is just NOT.
What do you do? Are you distracted? Are you agitated? Are you thinking about it morning, noon and night? Are you pondering how to sell things to get it all done? Are you searching blogs left and right for design ideas, trends, products, art work. Are you ordering things, working on putting rooms together after just moving in and continuing to visualize in your head the finished result but not really getting to work on the actual construction pieces of the home? This is me.
God has done a work on my heart. It's really something to leave something so exquisite that you built from scratch, loved every minute of designing, loved every minute of living in and taking pictures in and having the perfect photo backdrop for my kids' moments in. And move to something even more exquisite. It has a way of putting things in prospective, when you still want to create. Still want to keep fixing, changing, being creative, maximizing spaces.
A few things on my heart this year. Is it my desire for creativity and decorating and making my house a home or is it my need for perfection. Is it that I want to make a simple space to eliminate distractions or can I just really not live with things not being a true reflection of me. Do I really need to be so obsessed with making a space that is a reflection of me and my tastes and likes, or can I just REST in exactly what this space is - as is. Honestly I believe for me I honestly do want a simple, beautiful space. It is not a need for perfection. It is choosing to live on purpose, and for me the home environment I create allows guidance to the way we live as a family. Make a sweet moment with a wii system in the boys room and suddenly the boys have a place to go to play with friends for awhile. Put the play kitchen into the dining room and suddenly it is creating a moment for a girl and her cousin to play. Eliminate the toys from the bedroom and add a bookshelf and suddenly the kids are reading in their beds at nap time. Being intentional is important, and helpful in making a home. I like to be organized because it truly does help our family LIVE.
I've learned about myself. Making beauty is a good thing. Appreciating beauty is a good thing! Designing spaces is fun and artistic, appreciating other people to come and design spaces for me (someone please help me! :))) is fun and the collaborations are joy-filled to me!
What happens when prioritizing getting your home ready, settled in and furnished has actually distracted you from living. Yikes, I was always trying to get my home ready, doing things with the mindset of ONCE I GET EVERYTHING DONE, THEN I CAN LIVE. Not good.
So here I sit, resting in this gorgeous twenty year old carpet. Isn't it beautiful. It really highlights the imaginary white trim and fresher white walls and brings out the beauty of this bunk bed and hanging chair. The carpet makes for a very stunning backdrop when I take photos of the kids, especially when they are playing board games on the floor and pieces of lint are stuck in the pictures. Never mind that we live at the beach and sand is constantly in this carpet. It's a reminder of the "memories" that we are making. When I post this fabulous carpet on instagram, which I have in fact not ever done it gets multiple questions from people asking where I got it, where I found it, what make is it. To which I respond it is a dark purple gray color and hides all that beach dirt - perfect for your next beach house oasis! Perfect for your next coastal getaway. Haha. You won't find many pictures of my interior rooms these days, it's kind of sad. But maybe I should just get over it and start blogging our lives without the perfect house. (Let me reiterate I LOVE a perfect home! And I LOVE your perfect home! No problems at all over here with people who have perfect homes. In fact I will come over and compliment you and revel in the beauty of your perfect home!)
Questions I'm asking myself. Will I ever be done creating? No even if this home was exactly how I wanted it, would I still find ways to change it? Yes.
Thinking back to the last twelve years and ALL the homes we have lived in. That's a lot of homes, a lot of rooms to design and furnish and rearrange and get settled into. I have chosen to lay.it.down at the alter. Oh believe me this home is perfection in my brain. I have a plan for all the rooms! And they are fabulous and superb and the most amazing and beautiful things you have ever seen in your life! SW Pure White Walls, Shiplap, Beadboard Ceilings, White 5-point casing trim, 6-panel doors with cute knobs, hardwoods..It's all happening. But it's going to happen when I am putting it second.
Rest is happening now. And should you know someone or care to use my space as your personal blogging haven of opportunity, call it coastal creations drab to fab I am happy to oblige. I will let you have your way! Until then, rest. Resting in the One and knowing it's all going to come together when it's supposed to. Yes, I'm hoping that time is soon as we like to host and have people in and out and want this home to be the most exquisite home you've ever seen in your life. But, rest is good. Look at how these cuties are making a moment based off the decision to stick the wii in their bedroom. It does matter, design matters, organization matters - it all makes a difference in how we live. If you're like me you can't focus until all those things are figured out and done. Maybe it's been twelve years. Maybe you're whole life. Maybe one year. Or one day. Time to focus first. And create second, out of the overflow.