I'm going to keep this post short and sweet. It is too deep of a topic to dive into for the night. I just want to say this.
Be happy and thankful for food.
Enjoy the feeling of safety that you may have and not even realize that you have.
Enjoy a peaceful warm bed to sleep in.
One of my sons is now dealing with some very real food insecurities. He is mumbling untruths under his breath in the back of the car, on the way to lunch saying he is not hungry, doesn't need food. That I don't want to feed him lunch or dinner.
Can I tell you that the devil has a way of creeping into the smallest of moments and trying to steal my joy? I simply won't have it.
My children are made for such a time as this! They have gone through so much in their short lives, more than most could ever comprehend! And yet this is exactly today where God would have them. And he is moving! And teaching them and comforting them right in their need.
There is a battle for my son's heart. And there is healing that needs to take place. Let me tell you today friends that we can't do this thing called parenting alone. We need God to breathe life into our situations, life into our very bones. Breathe of life rain down on us parents! He does. He is always there. He sees those small moments and he knows them before they even happen.
These moments we have been having lately, many of them so absolutely beautiful my heart can hardly stand it! And then there are the little untruths that creep in and are spoken quietly and oh no, I do not accept those words!! Oh my heart aches for these situations, the healing that is a work in progress. The spoken word is powerful. I am reminded that in hearing these spoken words it is a blessing that I am able to understand what is going through my child's mind compared to nothing spoken. I try to be thankful even though I do not accept these untruths and I choose to speak life over this situation time and again despite the continual words pouring out in the quietness of my boy's heart. Oh sweet boy I love you, I love to feed you, I love to nurture you. And right where you were, where you used to be, you were loved. You were taken care of, God saw you then and he sees you now.
Right now we are in a season of healing. I see it. I know it. We had the joy filled homecoming, we have joyful amazing days now. And then we have the healing. The brokeness that becomes so evident and my soul screams for a redeemer. Jesus, heal this ache in my child's heart. I can speak life, I can speak love, I can tell him we are on our way to a restaurant right now. Mommy is making food when we get home. But something in him is fighting a serious battle right now.
It is making him stronger, I know. And he will conquer. But oh it can be tough sometimes as a parent when to the depths of your being you know what is being spoken is not true. I am a speaker of truth! And I speak life to the situation, but oh the mumbles and the groans of a child's heart and how as a parent you long to heal that deepest place and bring peace and rest to that special spot.
Only God. It is in Him that we find healing, the beauty in the process, and it makes me fall to my knees and be thankful for the mess, thankful for the trials. I persevere and I am stronger. Oh I am blessed by my children. I love them. God has big plans for their lives, he is doing a work even now in their hearts. The battle is real. Love wins.